‘It’s the Real McCoy’ Maura (Louise Ahern) doing her weekly shopping

Athea Village Festival

The festival will take place from Thursday 30th July to Monday, 3rd August.

There will be something for everyone to enjoy starting with an Afternoon Tea Party at the Top of the Town on Thursday from 3-6pm,  Basketball, Soccer and GAA tournaments, tug-of-war, Fancy Dress Parade, 5k road race, Barman’s race, plus loads more activities to participate in. Athea Drama Group will stage ’It’s the Real McCoy’ again on Saturday and Sunday night. So do come out and support all the events and enjoy the craic.

 Athea GAA Church Gate Collection

Saturday August 1 & Sunday August 2

Annual Church Gate Collection at all Masses this weekend. Your support as always would be greatly appreciated.

 Athea GAA “Gone To The Dogs”

At the moment there is still an opportunity to sponsor a race at our race night on August 15th in Tralee Greyhound Stadium.

• Sponsor a Race on the night – €500 (includes a full page ad in Programme)
• Joint Sponsor a Race – €250  (includes a half page ad in Programme)
• Place a full page advert in the Race Programme – €100
• Place a half page advert in the Race Programme – €50

Please contact either Jacqueline O’Connor on 086-0670091, Paul Curry on 087-6501673 or Liz O’Sullivan on 087-6699783 or any member of the committee Paul Collins, Leo Geoghegan, MaryIta Casey, Eilish Geoghegan, Roger Ryan, Neddie Hunt or Mairead Donovan.

More Than One Way Make a Buck

Last week we had a look at some of the witty, true sayings of people who weren’t actually trying to be  funny at the time. This week I want to dwell on another Irish phenomenon –  the “cute  hoor”. This description was used by the late John B. Keane to describe Kerrymen in particular but they are to be found all over Ireland. The following true story is a typical example. There were two brothers who did not believe that work was at all necessary to survive. As a friend of theirs said “if there was work in the bed those two would sleep on the floor”   They firmly believed that all that was necessary was a stroke of a pen at the right time to make a fortune. For years they tried various get-rich-quick schemes, including bookmaking, to no avail until one day news was brought to them of a dog that was for sale in Cork. They were reliably informed that this dog came from a very good litter and, because the owner, a farmer with no interest in greyhound racing, hadn’t a clue about the dog’s real worth, it could be got at the right price and a fortune could be made at the track. The next problem was finance. They spent the day calling in favours and promising the moon in return and eventually raised the €1,200 necessary for the purchase. They duly collected the dog and, on the way home, called to the track in Newcastle West to give him a run. The dog trotted around the track more like the tortoise than the hare but they did not despair as they put the poor showing down to tiredness after the car journey. The following day they tried again and if anything the dog had got slower. Realisation dawned that they had been “sold a pup”. They rang the previous owner to be told that he never said the dog could run and it was tough luck if he couldn’t. What to do! After long deliberation they came up with a plan. They had a friend from their days before they lost their bookie’s licence who was still taking bets at the track and made a deal with him. The following Saturday night they entered the dog in a good quality race and made preparations. One of them spent all day cutting up the Evening Press in the shape of €20 notes. These were rolled up with one genuine note on the outside to look like €1,000. The other brother set about informing all and sundry of the great dog that was definitely going to win. On the night of the race they approached the first bookie trying to lay a bet of €1,000 on the dog. The bookie in question wouldn’t take any more than €100 so they moved on to the next who also told them where to go. The word spread that the boys were trying to pull off a coup so the bookies wiped the dog off their boards, all except the friend at the bottom of the line who continued to lay the dog and accept bets. Needless to say he had plenty of takers.  The race started and our dog trotted around after the rest of them, stopping occasionally to admire the crowd.. The two brothers pretended to be very upset and swore that someone had interfered with the dog and probably doped him.  People who had backed the dog weren’t too pleased but accepted the boys’ explanation  and left it at that. When all was over they retired to a local hostelry  where they met their friend the bookie who gave them €2,000 out of his takings. Not only could they pay back the €1,200 they had borrowed but they were €800 in profit. Happy days !.  A good outcome to a bad investment. Now, if they weren’t “cute hoors”, I don’t know who was.

Domhnall de Barra